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                                 A Final Exam
                          From The Enforcer & friends
                 (Astronomy, Art, Computer Science, Geography,
               & Religious Studies: Added by Ed T. Toton III '95)
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FINAL EXAMINATION

  Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.
  Time Limit: Four hours.
  Begin immediately.


  HISTORY:

  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day,
  concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political,
  economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and
  Africa.  Be brief, concise and specific.


  GEOGRAPHY:

  Predict the position of the tectonic plates as they will appear two
  billion years from now. Be prepared to prove your results.


  MEDICINE:

  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of
  Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your work has been
  inspected.  You have fifteen minutes.


  BIOLOGY:

  Create life.  Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this
  form of life had developed 500 million years earlier with special attention
  to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.  Prove your
  thesis.


  PUBLIC SPEAKING:

  2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.  Calm them.
  You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.


  ART:

  Give an objective analysis of the relative significance and quality of
  the works of the major artists of the past three millenia. Be specific,
  and prove your analysis with detailed examples.


  MUSIC:

  Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.
  You will find a piano under your seat.


  PSYCHOLOGY:

  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability,
  degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following:

  o   Alexander of Aphrodisias
  o   Ramses II
  o   Gregory of Nicea
  o   Hammurabi

  Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making
  appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.


  SOCIOLOGY:

  Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the
  world.  Construct an experiment to test your theory.


  COMPUTER SCIENCE:

  Write a program that will end world hunger and homelessness. You may use
  the computer console next to you, however use of a modem or any other
  communications device is prohibited, as is the use of electricity.


  ENGINEERING:

  The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on
  your desk.  You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili.
  In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.  Take
  whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.


  PHYSICS:

  Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an evaluation of the
  impact of the development of mathematics on science.


  ASTRONOMY:

  Create a miniature stellar fusion reaction, and describe in detail the
  effects of close-range stellar radiation on human flesh.


  POLITICAL SCIENCE:

  There is a red telephone on the desk beside you.  Start World War III.
  Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.


  EPISTEMOLOGY:

  Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.


  RELIGIOUS STUDIES:

  Prove or disprove the existence of God, without the use of religious
  texts over a century old. Be specific, and include a discussion
  on the possible true meanings and uses for the Tetragrammaton. Also
  be prepared show how your proof relates to the national debt and
  the watergate scandal.


  ECONOMICS

  Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace the
  possible effects of your plan in the following areas:

  o   cubism
  o   the Donatist controversy
  o   the wave theory of light

  Outline a method for preventing these effects.  Criticize this method from
  all possible points of view.  Point out the deficiencies in your point of
  view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.


  PHILOSOPHY:

  Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.
  Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.


  GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:

  Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.


  EXTRA CREDIT:

  Define the Universe; give three examples.