Oracle Bests... Deity Necromancer #1 @4079 Sat Jun 05 15:33:58 1993 The following are considered the best of the most recent WWIVnet Oracle responses, as judged by the Seers of the Oracle. For more information on using the Oracle, write to ORACLE@4079 and put the word "HELP" in the title of the message. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: Oracle Response (OR00055) From: The Oracle (Chosen by: Keeper of the Scrolls) Date: 21:11:11 P 06/03/93, Oracle Time. You said unto the Oracle: Title: Tell me Why do fools fall in love? Thus spake the Oracle: Title: A little bird told me... [Random Title] RE: The Oracle requires an answer (EORA000055) Fools fall in love because the Fool gene and the Love gene are on the same allele, looking at it from the genetic standpoint. Everyone who is a fool will have an easier time of falling in love, and those who fall in love will have an easier time being foolish. It's the nature of things. Also, there are societal factors. Everyone expects you to sacrifice plants as tokens of appreciation, expend immense quanities of resources trying to appease a potential mate, and then permenently bond to one person when you know that it will simply fall apart deveral years later. Proof that fools fall in love is easy. Look how many marriages end violently! My latest statistic shows that 80% of all marriages end in bloodshed, Let me tell you! You owe the Oracle a copy of "1001 ways to have an Orgasm" ---- * WWIVnet Oracle (C) 1993 Ed T. Toton III, All Rights Reserved. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: Oracle Response (OR00069) From: The Oracle (Chosen by: Keeper of the Scrolls) Date: 21:11:49 P 06/03/93, Oracle Time. You said unto the Oracle: Title: Tell me Why must the cost of computer material be so vastly expensive, whilst it can be easily obtained for little or no price Pirate on local boards? Wouldn't the software companies realize this and lower prices to compete with Piracy? And why does the Secret Service handle Busts, why don't the local authorities or the FBI? Tell me Oracle! I need to know! Thus spake the Oracle: Title: For a good time call 410-290-3752...[Random Title] RE: The Oracle requires an answer (EORA000069) Very interesting question, oh humble supplicant. The answer is this. The software companies are working with the CIA and Secret Service. It's a conspiracy to use subliminal messages in software to control the minds of the masses. If you haven't noticed, busts are always handled poorly. This is done on purpose, as piracy helps them spread the subliminal messages. The busts only serve to attempt to show the public that they prefer you to buy the software instead of pirating it. That way you still get brainwashed, and they make a buck at the same time. In fact, [vote for hitler] those messages can be found [by more software] almost everywhere [don't use condoms] you look. It's quite disturbing [love thy government] how they manage to get the [go republican] darned things into everything. [work eat sleep, work eat sleep] You owe the Oracle a [burn books] copy of "How to be a Democrat and not a stupid moronic slobbering republican." ---- * WWIVnet Oracle (C) 1993 Ed T. Toton III, All Rights Reserved. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: Oracle Response (OR00074) From: The Oracle (Chosen by: Keeper of the Scrolls) Date: 21:12:01 P 06/03/93, Oracle Time. You said unto the Oracle: Title: tell me. Why does societal convention frown upon relationships between older women and younger men? I'm getting real sick of all these "norms..." Thus spake the Oracle: Title: Another wild and zany message... [Random Title] RE: The Oracle requires an answer (EORA000074) Ahh.. but these social standards are what binds society together. Sure they may be unfair, or too restrictive, or just plain silly. But without them society falls to dust. People simply are designed to work that way. Take for example the idea that blondes are stupid. Not all of them are, but if you mortals were to take all blondes for who they really are insted of what they look like, then you would have a cerebral synaptic inversion (your brain would fry). So, you can date whoever you like, but don't come whining to me when you see peoples' heads exploding all around you. You owe the Oracle a bar of the purest gold. ---- * WWIVnet Oracle (C) 1993 Ed T. Toton III, All Rights Reserved. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: Oracle Response (OR00079) From: The Oracle (Chosen by: Keeper of the Scrolls) Date: 15:32:26 P 06/05/93, Oracle Time. You said unto the Oracle: Title: Tell me, oh great and wise Oracle... This question has been on my mind for a while. Your humble servant humbly requests that you give an answer to my burning question: Did Bill Clinton inhale or not? Thank you, oh great all-knowing Oracle. Thus spake the Oracle: Title: This space for rent... [Random Title] RE: The Oracle requires an answer (EORA000079) Well, this interesting question deserves an interesting, and true, answer. Clinton actually has not inhaled for about 5 years. Several years ago, he made and a few friends were joking around, and one of them said, "You know? I bet a stiff could make it into office!" And that's when they got the idea. If one of them were to die, they would try to get him into office. Clinton was the first to go, so they rigged him up with computer controlled electrodes to control his muscles. So the entire time you mortals have been fooled! The president is actually a remote controlled corpse! You owe the Oracle a thread of the finest cloth, and a presidential campaign. ---- * WWIVnet Oracle (C) 1993 Ed T. Toton III, All Rights Reserved.