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finding the truth, no matter how false it might be.

Experiments And Projects:

What you see here is a picture taken during the earlier phases of the construction of a giant rail-gun that we're building to shoot-down UFOs. As of this time, construction is still not complete.

This pile of slag is creeping out of our Radiation Lab at a rate of about one centimeter per week. Our experts from that department assure us that this is perfectly normal, and that it will eventually go away by itself.

This is the storage sorting room. This room is used to sort out all of our generic storage drums, based upon what they contain. In them we store everything from DNA samples to alien bodies to x-ray sensitive explosives. Sometimes the barrels aren't clearly labeled though, in which case we identify their contents by bombarding them with x-rays. Luckily this is a blast-proof room.

Here you see several of our technicians (and an alien in the background) hard at work on a temporal-distortion experiment. Yes, they are actually attempting to warp time. The alien is one of several who have been of great help to us. They've been here since the Roswell crash, and not even their own people know they're still alive. Basically they had a simple choice: Stay with the military guys and be dissected and then cryogenically stored -OR- work for us. However, the government still thinks they're in storage after dissection... hah... what fools.

This photo shows the construction process for the spacecraft that we intend to use for our next manned mission to the sun. Take note of the thick outer hull. It's made out of an adamantium alloy, so as not to get incinerated during approach. However, landing is still a difficult problem to solve.

In this experiment, we were using a tank to test the durability of a new small structure we developed for use in those little mini-marts. The idea is to make it tough enough to withstand point-blank cannon fire. Unfortunately, as you can see, it didn't hold up. I told them that using tissue paper was a bad idea, but would they listen to me? Aww no...

Materials and Equipment:

One of our electrical engineers made the "better mousetrap". Any time it senses the motion of small furry rodents, it floods the room with high voltage current. It's actually quite effective. Unfortunately it leaves nothing left of the pests to identify afterwards. Another unfortunate side effect is what it does to any humans, electronics, and machinery that happen to be in the room as well.

This is the front office for our engineering subsection. That large device can, on occasion, be heard 'reving-up', and then it subsides with a loud, deep (15 to 20 hertz) humm that fades away. Just what it is doing is something we've speculated about for a while. Supposedly there is only one person who knows what it does, and he wasn't even on the design team. Unfortunately he hasn't been seen since his last visit to the Chemistry Lab.

One of the problems encountered when launching spacecraft is that fighting gravity costs a lot of money in fuel. To aid in this problem, we developed the device you see being tested here. By carefully focusing beams of gravitons, we can effectively change how much something weighs. One simply has to remember not to turn it off in mid-launch (as we've discovered, the hard way, repeatedly).

This device is called the 'Alchemitron', as it actually converts elements. This is probably the single greatest invention to come out of our ChemLab. All the raw-material we get left-over from digging our transport tunnels is converted into copper, gold, silver, platinum, plutonium, uranium, etc with one of these (prototype pictured here). That's how we get the materials we need to make our devices and keep ourselves funded.

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