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Copyright © 1993 Ed T. Toton III, All Rights Reserved. [Volume 7? Seven?!? I meant 6... really I did]
COLLOQUIUM -- COLLOQUIUM A paradigm shift to DORK-based engineering is necessary to enable large-scale software-intensive systems to function according to the needs of all users simultaneously. Current software engineering processes address the development of each system, and each user, individually. DORK-based engineering (Data Organization by Random Karma) looks at the development of families of users, thus allowing the system to track their karmic energies. Traditionally, structured analysis of energy flows and obtuse oriented techniques are used in modifying ethereal and astral domain I/O ports. The concepts of atheistic and sub-theistic domains and their interdependencies can only be contained through proper channeling of this karmic energy, which in turn can be used to synchronize and amplify user harmony within a given system. The foundation required by a karmic-system introduces several discrepancies and contingencies which often result in an imbalance of asynchronous karmic baud rates between each CPU in the network. For this reason, new facilities for gathering and manipulating user auras is required to implement intelligent software tools and mass data storage. Furthermore, without proper divine intervention, such environments rapidly attain a level of complexity that is both unmanagable and wasteful. Traditional software engineering techniques will be shown as an alternative contingency plan for failed DORK-based systems, which naturally can result from divine wrath or an over-abundance of atheistic user bases. Realistically, one can not expect the ethereal curtain to bend to one's will immediately, so a process of slow upgrades will be explained. The Data Karma Capturing Model (DKCM) provides a system in which the administrators, programmers, and the loathesome loser-users can interact smoothely and efficiently, thus improving software capabilities. The DKCM will also be used to explain how various other forms of karmic, divine, and demonic structuring techniques can benefit software engineering. This talk will explore many new directions in the engineering of ethereal/chaos-intensive data systems. Biographical Information Mr. Drokke attended the Wayitism University of Maryland and received his B.A. in Cow-Exploding in 1980, and proceeded to obtain a B.S in Taoganian Computer Magick in 1982. In 1984 he received his PhD in Wayitism. Shortly thereafter he became the leading member of a very select group of theoretical scientists working for the "agency" (the name of the agency is classified). He was the original author of [classified] and is now known as the [classified] [classified] [classified] [classified] [classified]. In the past few years however, he has performed considerable research in the field of DORK-based systems, and was the first to create a functional model (telnet or ftp to shrine@ether.cs.wayitis.edu to take a look). Mr Drokke has, over the past few years, authored several books concerning DORK-based systems, including (but not limited to), "You and Your DORK," "How Your DORK Can Work For You," and "Your DORK, My DORK, Everybody's DORK." This year he has begun to give lectures at various schools throughout the country to aid students, scientists, programmers, and system administrators to make the smooth transition to the superior and more powerful DORK-based systems. All are welcome to attend, suggestions and comments are appreciated.
For additional information, contact Bloodaxe Manglefoot, 410-555-1234, or access the EVENTS item on the gopher server at gopher.cs.wayitis.edu
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